Sunday, July 10, 2005, 4:23 AM
turn me invisible
Just got home from partying.Its 5am in the morning. When everyone was attending to you,I stood aside.I just sat ,not knowing what else to do.I can't help.Whatever I do would just aggravate the situation.I wanted to turn invisible.My standing presence was not helping.Everyone could see what's going on.I saw you-Lying on the floor,half drunk,with puke all over.I heard you've been talking bout me.Blabber blabber.I wanted to tell someone,how bad this feels.But I had no one in mind to share my woes.No one.I wanted to message.But I doubt anyone would lend me a listening ear.Especially not at this late hour.At that very point,I feel so alone.Sitting right there.Hearing you're obsessed & seeing you half-gone like that,really makes me wonder have I done.Having been told both of you shed tears over me,makes me feel fcuked up.You guys act like you know me.But really.How is that possible when I don't even know that myself?Nvm that.Somehow,that whole brotherhood act irks me.Why?Why let this happen to a girl like me? Funny how the wrong people just fall so hard for you.Then the rest,just can't seem to like you enough.I feel especially baddd since both are good friends and both got drunk cos of me.Both incidents happened at Indochine parties.I made it clear right from start.But I know you can't help it.I don't blame you."God helps those who help themselves"I quoted to you.You said you don't want to help yourself.Somehow,everyone tells me its not my fault.Once again,everything just feels like its all my fault.Its my fault.Like I'm the bad girl in the story.Please.I beg you. Let it be.I'll sleep tonight when you're alright.
18do1818 i'm1818181818181 1818 saving181818181818181 1818181818 all1818181818181 8the1818 my18181818181818 18181818181818 love18181818 18181818181818181818 for181 818181818181818181818 you
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